Sitting in the back seat of an old, brown car with brown interior that matched the driver’s hair. A girl with the same brown hair as the man, sitting in the back seat, looking excited, sitting next to a younger girl with blonde hair like the woman in the front passenger seat. Pulling up a long driveway to an old white house with a huge white garage. There is a man in blue jeans standing at the end of the driveway, waiting for the brown haired man to get out and talk to him. The blonde woman gets out of the car and walks to the back door to let the two girls out. Suddenly the man in blue jeans is flinging the door to the garage open and a whole litter of golden retriever puppies comes running out. At least five or six puppies, all with bows tied around their necks, barking excitedly. All of the bows were blue for boys, except one. One puppy had a pink bow tied around its neck, the only girl, jumping around with her brothers just as excited to meet new people. The two men keep talking and the two girls continue to play with the puppies.
Ah, very visual!
ReplyDeleteBut it stops, just a bit short--it doesn't really nail the material. Let me give you a sentence or two that will finish the piece in style:
"All the puppies were cute, but the girl with the brown hair kept reaching over and over for the puppy with the pink bow, and before long that puppy was asleep in her lap. She had a name all picked out."
Does something like that work for you?
ReplyDelete